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But boomers gave up on the concept of the dutiful-but-unhappy spouse a long time ago.They were the originators of a higher divorce rate, and while that divorce rate has slowed, we may be seeing a spike as people ponder whether or not they will stay with their spouses into extreme old age.The knee-jerk reaction might be to kick him out of the house as far as you can send him. While each case of infidelity is different, here are 6 things to think about if you catch your husband cheating. But if you need to process without him there, schedule appointments for just yourself. And think twice before sharing details about the situation with your children. Feeling the pain is the first step in the healing process. It might be tough but resist the urge to throw things at him, curse, or act crazy. Gary Chapman says, “There could be unwelcome consequences if you do lose it…What were the contributing factors and what advice would you give other couples struggling to hold it together?Leave a comment below or discuss in Late-Life Divorce discussion in the AARP online community.Lack of communication and loss of trust are also issues that can seriously push a marriage toward divorce.I suspect that it wasn’t so much an affair that sent Maria Shriver heading for the door, but more the fact that her husband had deceived her for so long.
Then what follows is probably a combination of anger, grief, and panic at what might lay ahead. Find a counselor who shares your values and who understands that marriages can thrive after infidelity. Your spouse must be willing to break off all contact with the other person and devote himself to rebuilding your marriage.” Trust will not be restored overnight. If he sincerely wants to rebuild trust, he’ll have the attitude, My life is an open book. This kind of openness and recommitment will in time help you restore trust.” And remember, you can come back from a marriage disaster, even infidelity.
Why do so many long-married couples decide to split?
How can people be so happy for so long, only to then have the marriage turn sour in what are supposed to be their "golden years" together? Some relationships have been in decline for decades and finally lose all their juice. It's more like a balloon that has been seeping air for a long time. Another possibility is that a couple's issues intensify.
They're different from the 50-year-olds who lived before them.
In previous eras, couples soldiered on even if they were very unhappy.
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The AARP Sex, Romance and Relationships Survey on the sexuality of people 45 and older found that extramarital affairs happen for only a relatively small number of couples.